cat meows underwater. i don’t think you understand how much i’m crying right now.
Yeah but can we talk for a second about how the cat’s name is McLovin
❝Doubt and suspicion, extreme anger and hate. They bring seeds of catastrophe to this world.❞ -Kyubey
I swear that they’re secretly fraternal triplets
I just love the character design for Big Sisters so much. They’re these vicious, hateful creatures who want you ten different kinds of dead and their armor is this terrifying assortment of scavenged parts and scrap metal… and then you notice the pretty pink ribbons and doodles of fish and you realize that these shrieking death machines have at some point allowed Little Sisters to crawl all over them and give them “makeovers” in an attempt to pretty them up and if that isn’t the most adorable mental image I don’t know what is.
i’ll finger fuck you under the table at a restaurant then lick my fingers when I’m done I don’t give a fuck
thats why nobody take ur nasty ass anywhere
This is the one time of year that I love wasps.
Not because the wasps themselves get any nicer. They’re horrid little creatures year round. No, it’s because I have a couple of big apple trees out back, and late August, early September is when the apples start ripening.
Now, if you don’t harvest your own fruit, there are two things you need to know about apples.
The first thing you need to know about apples is that, when apples get ripe, they tend to fall from the tree at the slightest breeze.
I often work late at the office; by the time I get home, there are piles of apples scattered everywhere - and sure enough, the wasps are out in force, gorging themselves on the fruit. When I go to clean up the windfallen apples, the wasps naturally do the “rawr, I’ma fuck you up!” routine for which wasps are known.
The second thing you need to know about apples is that they ferment very rapidly in the late August heat.
So: the wasps try to come at me, but they’re too drunk to fly. They get about an inch off the ground, then faceplant directly into the turf, flip over onto their backs, and lay there, legs twitching in the air as they try in vain to find something to sting.
Perhaps I’m a man of simple pleasures, but I bust up laughing every. single. time.